Hi, my name is homer. I work in a nuclear power plant in my local town Springfield but because of my love of nature and beer Im slowly destroying both. I am having a drink at my favourite bar in Springfield, Moes Tavern.
Hey Barney, what are you doing back here? Moe says with smug look.
I just want to apologise for my past behaviour. Barney replied.
You already did that.
Oh it was in my diary. I grab his diary from him.
This is last years diary. I say with a laugh.
Well your suppose to get a new one every year.
Oh.. can I borrow 5? He asks Lenny, a good friend of mine who agrees.
You owe me, while you got 5 you might as well buy yourself a drink. Lenny says with a twinkle in his eyes.
Stop twinkling!! I scream at him.
Im sorry, its a kidney stone that found its way near my brain. He responds and even though that makes no sense Im too drunk to care.
Dancing in the shadows, Moe says.
Why did you say that? I ask and he shrugs his shoulders. That was all typical behaviour of my friends, or so I have become to call them. I walk home and now its time to introduce my stupid family.
Homie, how are you? Marge asks.
I dont know, cook me some food woman. I say harshly at her who groans and returns to the kitchen. I have three children, Maggie (6 years old), Lisa (14 years old) and Bart (17 years young apparently). They were a head ache, believe me.
Daddy I hurtee myy fenger. Maggie says but I dont respond to her.
Hey Bart, where do you think your going? I ask Bart who looks dressed for something.
A drinking party with plenty or sex, drugs and horny chicks. He replies.
Oh, ok. I respond as I wave him goodbye and he jumps into his own car and drives away.
Daddy, Barts room smellz lyk Ottos scwool buzz.
I dont care ok? I shall at Maggie who starts to cry.
I didnt mean it like that. I say in a posh voice.
Dad, what are you doing? Lisa asked, she walked into the room with Martin Prince.
What does it look like? Im doing what I do best, nothing!! I reply to my daughter of 14 years.
Well, while you got spare time on your hands I think you should take out the garbage.
You would think that wouldnt you, Meegie go get daddy a beer. Its not a great life I live but Ill like you to live a better one in todays society. All I hear is murder this, rape this, Homer did that, Im getting really sick of your behaviour, your not suppose to have sex while driving. Tell all that to my ass who does what it wants, when it wants. Except shit sometimes, yeah it does get hard to shit at times I have to take laxatives sometimes to make it easier but then Im stuck on the bowl for years to come.
Today was the change of my life as I knew it, I got a letter from the powe...More Cartoon Sex Stories...