...rassed if she revealed knowledge
of his activities. But Marge kept
thinking about the situation for the rest of the day. Should she tell Homer?
Yes, she would. As the boy's
father, Homer would be the natural person to have a discussion with Bart. It was obviously time for the proverbial
"Birds and the Bees" talk, and Homer was just the man for the job.
AM I THINKING?!" Marge suddenly realized.
Homer was probably the LAST man for the job -- any job! Horrific images of Homer trying to explain
sex to Bart formed in her mind. She had
had nightmares of Bart becoming a sleazy male stripper before, but with Homer's
sexual advice it could be even worse than that!
she would have to find someone else to talk to Bart. Hmmm, but who? What about
Grandpa Simpson? No -- he'd probably
lapse into an old story about taking the ferry to Shelbyville while wearing an
onion on his hip. Maybe Principal
Skinner? No -- an unmarried middle-aged
momma's boy probably wasn't the best choice for this kind of thing. Reverend Lovejoy? No -- the Reverend was a good Christian, but there was an awful
lot of bad blood between him and Bart.
Maybe Apu? How about
Barney? Or Otto? no, No, NOO!!!
-- Dr. Hibbert! ...