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His little dick started to rise again. "Don't feel bad, laddie. How's 'bout a big, juicy burger on a toasted bun?" He gave Willie a pleading gaze and said, "I had my heart set on a weenie." Then, he walked away. "Ach, the poor little laddie. No friends, no weenie, and overweight to boot." Martin was a crafty little sort. He set a plan into motion that couldn't fail. He used Willie's Krabapple crush to his advantage. So, during lunch period, he wrote the following letter: "My dearest Willie, no one must know of our love. I enjoyed the way you taunted me during the school picnic. However, for appearance sake I had to retaliate. I hope the hole in your head has healed. I'm burning with desire, my darling. It was all I could do to keep my hands from groping under your dazzling plaid kilt. I must see you this afternoon, but under my conditions. At 3:00, I will come to your boiler room. I want you to turn all the lights off. I want you to lay on your cot wearing your kilt and nothing else. I will discreetly slip in and give you the blowjob of your life. Yes, my darling, this is true love. Until then, my dearest. Signed, Edna Krabapple." Willie found Edna's letter in his locker and started to sweat. "At last, the bitch is in heat! I knew she'd come around. She's finally going to get what she needs. A taste of my shillelagh." He walked into his boiler room and up to the framed, signed photo of Sean Connery he had on his wall. "Connery, you jolly dog. You'll have a bird's eye view of this afternoon's spectacle.

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