...arted all this, and you're calling ME an egomaniac? Just because you have next to no social life, your mother doesn't love you, and your butt is ham-shaped does NOT give you the right to hack into my iCarly blog and tell everyone I have a small dick! Which I don't," he added, huffing and crossing his arms over his chest.
"The one time I decide to tell the truth, you get all worked up!"
"The TRUTH? You couldn't tell the truth for a million dollars!"
"Yeah? Well, your DICK is still TINY! MICROSCOPIC, even!"
"It is NOT SMALL! STOP it, SAM! No WONDER every boy you date leaves you!"
"GUYS!" Carly came up behind them, glaring at Freddie before finally turning to Spencer.
"What's going on?" asked the confused sculptor.
"Sam hacked into Freddie's blog and said he had a small – "
"Okay, I get it. You guys better hurry up and start iCarly. Anyone wanna eat first?"
At the mention of food, Sam's head whipped around. "Sure," she said, flipping her hair nonchalantly. "What's cookin', good lookin'?"
Freddie flinched. Whenever Sam did something like calling Spencer "Handsome," it made him uncomfortable. Their relationship was unnaturally close.
"I'm makin' bacon! And eggs, for some reason. Who doesn't love breakfast for dinner?"
"Pass me a plate, and let's go start the show!"
Three-quarters of the show went off without a hitch. Then Sam rem...