... Sai. If he finds out he's the only sober one, he's gonna keeeeeeel us. I think he might be on to us, though."
"Sai, you're hot," Lee professed in the background as if to prove Naruto's point.
"Second, I'm a virgin. Are you a virgin Hinata?"
"Eep!" Hinata choked out.
"Yeah, being a virgin sucks," Naruto agreed with Hinata's sound as though it had be some profound insight, nodding sagely even though she couldn't see it through the phone. "I wanna have sex with Sakura, but she's never going to. But I don't wanna die a virgin! That would be so sad! Hinata, will you have sex with me? Virgins need to stick together, right? I think-"
Hinata pulled the phone receiver from her ear and blinked at it. Naruto had just hung up on her. She took a moment to wipe the film of sweat off of the device before setting it back down. She turned around and went straight to the bathroom where she first threw up repeatedly before removing her clothes and taking a nice long bubble bath.
~Meanwhile at the Bar~
"Holy crap, I killed Hinata!" Naruto yelled. He then proceeded to scream Hinata's name repeatedly into the silent phone.
"I think you just pressed the 'end' button with your cheek by mistake," Sai explained, trying to talk around Lee who had suddenly decided Sai was a sexy beast and was presently...